murmeldyr.no

The weblog of a traveller

   Jun 11

On life and responsibility

A young girl was buried today. As I happened to know her, this revoked all sorts of reactions and set off many slumbering thoughts, some of which worth sending down the Tubes.

I always found it strange how suicide is looked upon as weak, immoral and/or foolish, and I get upset whenever someone characterises it as selfish. If you believe that we stay around in some form until our purpose is fulfilled, it seems only reasonable to ask for a new chance to do your job, learn your lesson or whatever that purpose might be, if the current chance messed up beyond repair.

Isn’t that blaming attitude towards the passed person just as selfish? Sure it leaves a mess behind, but what kind of argument is that – should a wrecked soul be held responsible for the wellbeing of others even after they are gone? Maybe the rest of us even need to have our roots shaken once in a while to remind us what is important, like making sure we care for each other.

So in this country where ending your misery is a legal crime, one is supposed to choose life at any cost. On another hand, we are constantly told to shape our own destiny, we can do anything we want if the effort is big enough, we are solely responsible for our actions and you know the drill. If you follow that idea a few steps further down, it follows quite naturally that our lives are in our own hands. So while I mourn the loss on my own part, I respect the choice totally and would not consider blaming her. The rest of us are poorer than we were, and the girl is possibly in a better place.

(Also the priest’s talking about the sheep mildly following the lord shepherd reminded me why I like the independent goats so much. I cannot get my head around the virtue of blindly depending. It bears such a negative view on humanity.)
A couple of days before, I found a stunningly beautiful flower coming out of a green plant that normally does not flower at all. A good last gift for a rare soul.

May your memory forever inspire others to open their hearts and speak their mind freely as you did.

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2 Comments

  1. Balanse says:

    Fine ord, Agnethe. Fri vilje fremfor noe annet, tenker jeg – enten det gjelder å gi eller ta sitt eget liv.

  2. Kristen says:

    Beautifully written, Aggy.

    It is a shame, I think, when people judge a deed without considering the situation. Of course, dealing with the death of a loved one is such a complex and emotional process that placing blame sometimes seems to be a way family and friends feel they can have control over and answers for what happened. However, solace is rarely achieved through blame.

    I am deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.

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